Thursday, September 9, 2010

This Year's Weapon Winner - no the year isn't over, but it don't get no better than this.

Nothing can enrage a person faster than calling out his mama. When you mess with someone's mama you are walking on thin ice my friend. Dare I say taking your own life into your hands? I can imagine the first person who decided to insult someone's mama. Some dude in 900 BC needed to put a Cro-Magnon in his place. He needed something super mean to say and out came the very first yo-mama joke.
"Yo mama so stupid...even a caveman can do her!" ZING!!
(I just made that up and want credit in the scrolls of yo-mama joke history)
As a matter of fact there was an entire MTV show dedicated to showcasing the harshest yo-mama jokes you could bring.

So here is how serious one guy took the insult hurled at his beloved mama. He got mad. Like real mad. So mad that the person who spewed this atrocity against his mother deserved what I believe to be the ultimate weapon one can wield. This is the epitome of all the weapons at your disposal. Guns? For pussies. Knives? Child's play. Candle stick, noose? Solely for Clue fanatics. When you mean serious-as-a-fucking-heart-attack business there is only one weapon you reach for. One.Large.Fork. Which is exactly what this guy did. A fork is all business, no other weapon says "I am not fucking around here" like a fork. When you insult Mama, a fork is the only solution here. Dare to insult her one more time after the fork is presented and you may get that fork heated up for you, right before it is stuck neatly in your eye. Don't.Mess.With.Mama.