Friday, January 29, 2010

Knowing is Half the Battle

I have a confession. I have been sleeping with Darth Vader for some time now. He's awesome in the sack and that cape is good for so many different things, but damn when he falls asleep that breathing shit has got to go. I mean do you think I could ask him to turn off the sound effects on that helmet? I had every Star Wars action figure you could think of as a child, still do as a matter of fact. Getting to sleep with Big D as I like to call him is such a dream come true, until actual sleep is involved.

GI Joe was another huge favorite of mine, and by extreme good luck he has been reborn! I am now the proud owner of the complete GI Joe series. Watching these cartoons brings back so many good memories. Plus I had tons of military gear at my disposal thanks to Dad being in the army, so pretending to be GI Joe was easy. I wonder if I should tell him where that "lost" artillery belt is? Nah, I may need it now that my passion is being renewed. The best part about watching now is I can appreciate all the awesome corny lines. The one I saw this morning (yes I may have been watching GI Joe this morning SO?) referenced "kicking the mustard out of that hot dog". Try to stop from from saying that now. One guy grabbed another guy by the neck and told him he was gonna "pound those pimples off his face". SWEET. I am also now old enough to see the sexual tension between Duke and Scarlett. "Is that a hand grenade in your pocket Duke, or you just happy to see me?" I'm not sure that was said, but that's what I heard. She is way to pretty to be a Joe. Did I want to be her when I was little? Hell no. I wanted to blow shit up, not be the intelligence chick. I wanted to be Flint, badass helicopter pilot. Another little tidbit I missed as a child? Gung Ho is cajun. I can now see him referencing bayous and gumbo. Huh, GI Joe was cultural too. No wonder I'm so worldly.

I am now in the mood to strap on my gear, belly crawl through ditches and throw pine cone grenades. Yo Joe!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Decided to jump on the blogwagon. I have no idea where this is going to go if anywhere, but wanted to try it out. Looks like so much fun when others are doing it, and I want to have fun damn it. I have no direction, so I'll start randomly. Oh, I like to use foul language at times so if you are easily offended you can beep the words out when you read.

Don't you think if one in four women are reading a pregnancy test wrong that should raise a flag? I'm pretty sure that one woman should pray that the test results are negative. If you can't figure out how to read a pregnancy test with 12 pages of written instruction please do not procreate. I think that this being the only test a woman has to pass in order to have children is crazy. Going hunting? Need a license! Going to cut hair? Need a license! Going to sell real estate? Need a license! Want to create a child, feed, clothe, care, nurture, educate, morally instill, guide, and send into the world? Go right ahead, no questions asked.

So I'm keeping it short this first time out the gate. You're supposed to take it slow when you pop your proverbial cherry, well that's what I'm telling myself anyway.