Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Old Yeller

I yell at the TV. Well it isn't always yelling, but talking to it sounds just as crazy. People have asked me if I'm talking to them. You talkin' to me?? Um, no. I'm talking to the TV. Moron. Move along. I do this more so when watching the news, because lets face it, that is the perfect thing to yell at. Mostly because they, meaning the "news crew species" because they can't possibly be humans, not with those faces and personalities, say inciting statements. Like this morning when the super blond perky wrinkle free news anchor said "Coming up, a nurse is now behind bars for turning in a doctor who she says was practicing bad medicine". The story said that the nurse felt this doctor was doing unnecessary procedures and prescribing medication when it wasn't needed. Guess who's at fault here? The nurse. Yelling ensues. HOW THE FUCK IS SHE THE ONE IN JAIL?? WHEN DID IT BECOME ILLEGAL TO GROW A CONSCIENCE?? Of course the news reports that the nurse must have some problem with the doctor and just wants to ruin his career. NOW ALL THE NURSES ARE GOING TO BE SCARED TO SPEAK UP WHEN THEY SEE SOMETHING WRONG!!! Call me crazy, but I'd be way more willing to believe that procedures are being unnecessarily performed than a nurse wanting to ruin a reputation.

A Saints "fan" is given the chance to speak into the mic during the Saints homecoming from Miami. She proceeds to say how she's just so happy blah blah blah and that now they will change the name of whatever street in her city to Jeffery Henderson St!!! Yay Go Saints!!! ***clears throat*** YOU IDIOT, IT'S NOT JEFFERY HENDERSON! IT'S DEVERY HENDERSON! WAY TO SHOW YOUR TRUE SAINTS DEDICATION! GET OFF THE FUCKING BANDWAGON!

The View is the perfect show to yell at if you decide you want to try it. A good way for a beginner yeller to test out the water. Any of those four bitches will get you mad if you watch it long enough. I often end one of my yelling fits with why do I watch this stupid show?? Joy makes my blood absolutely boil. She just sits there waiting for the perfect "in" for another of her ridiculously corny and entirely too planned jokes. The joke always ends up sticking out like a damn redheaded fat chick in a Victoria's Secret catalog <----- wink wink nod nod elbow elbow....did you get my joke, did you see what I did there..... YES JOY WE HEARD THE JOKE WE'RE NOT LAUGHING BECAUSE IS WASN'T FUCKING FUNNY AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR NECK THAT YOU MUST MOVE YOUR HEAD LIKE A CHICKEN CONSTANTLY??

It just feels good to let it out.


  1. It's good I usually have a child or a cat around whilst watching TV; then I can tell myself I'm really talking to them

  2. My first comment and it's from XUP! Thanks again for all the advice.

  3. I don't watch news at all because it is both depressing and stupid. I avoid at all cost.