Friday, August 13, 2010

Act your age, not your shoe size.

Repeat after me, "If you whack someone with it, it's a weapon". You may think that you are some innocent law abiding citizen, but as soon as you get mad and grab the nearest object to pound someone with, instant criminal. So in saying this, the weapon list is infinite. However, some people have a knack for choosing a weapon that will bring me great fits of laughter. I'm gonna let this weeks weapon speak for itself, and this time the story behind it is 100% true. Well, at least 98% true.

One High Heeled Stiletto Shoe. Oh yes, you read that right. One High Heel Stiletto Shoe worn by a drag queen cruising downtown heading to a local gay bar. Said drag queen runs into another queen and immediately suspects this person is sleeping with her man. Off comes the Louboutin, which we know is tall and pointy because you've never seen a queen in chunky heels, and she promptly whacks the bitch allegedly sleeping with her man...right on the forehead.

Now tell me, WHY am I never witness to something like this?


  1. So....are you suggesting that I may need a concealed weapon permit for those 5" red stilletos in my closet?

  2. Let's face it, those should come with a permit anyway.

  3. You are never witness to things like that for the same reason the pissed off flight attendant DIDN'T inflate the slide, grab two beers and take off on MY Jet Blue flight. We're just unlucky...

  4. I know. I have bad "witness awesomely bad funny event" karma. I may have to seek some sort of aura cleansing. :)